Darker corners of His Mind

“You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” – Morpheus, from The Matrix

Two years later and ¬†still gratefully ¬†venturing infinitesimally deep down His very dark and depraved rabbit hole of degradation, humiliation and objectification, crawling closely behind the Man who collared her almost three years ago. With every trip down the twisting turning seemingly never ending tunnel she begs to be taken on she resurfaces hoping she is one step closer to reaching it’s¬†true nature as His property and object, being stripped slowly and almost always painfully of it’s dignity, humanity and personal¬†autonomy while being degraded, dehumanized and humiliated surrendering all of it’s existence happily, learning it’s place at His White Feet where a brown, inferior fuckpig, animal and object like her belongs.¬†

This journey has not always come easy for me…. As long and she can remember becoming an “object” and “it” has terrified her to the point at times into panic attacks. It has also been not only eye opening slowly being transformed but extremely humiliating leaving this depraved creature in a now constant state of arousal with His training in long term orgasm denial paired with forced edging many times a day. Since her last post she was His puppy brownie a very happy, naive and almost innocent little creature which she enjoyed tremendously opening her mind and heart with easing some fear and building more trust learning He is here 100% leading and guiding her each step of the way.¬†

Looking forward to her next entry delving into the many steps and personas she has been taken to on her very mental and emotional journey becoming His now fuckpig and objects of use for His needs and pleasures. 

S.S.C. vs R.A.C.K…….. making sense of these acronyms.

As a heavy edge player most of her encounters in the past never conformed to the rules of S.S.C. and feels that it¬†doesn’t¬†accurately define her BDSM and mindset as a slave with very few limits and has desired serving in a TPE dynamic which in no way conforms or even comes near to S.S.C. as it stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual.

She is not saying that she does not take everything into consideration¬†of the possible risks involved in the activity being negotiated. To her especially being an edge player feels the “sane” part of S.S.C. is extremely subjective. When you think about it everyone’s comfort zone is different, she happens to both love and has participated in erotic asphyxiation, knife play, gun play, all most consider to be forms of physical edge play along with deep mental edge play which is what makes this girl tick and supplies her with the rush of adrenaline she enjoys some of those she is more than not always involved in are deep humiliation, dehumanization, fear play,¬†objectification and race play just to name a few. So what she may consider a S.S.C. activity for example fisting, another person may find to be insane and not at all something that falls into S.S.C. The difference between these acronyms bottom line is an individual decision.¬†

Her reason for considering herself a R.A.C.K. (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) participant is that with most of her play activities either borderline edge play or full on edge play may involve the consequences of potential short or long term harm, or even death and is always agreed upon and discussed in negotiations that each player is fully aware of the possible consequences and consensually agree to the activities negotiated. 

In closing she wonders if those kink friendly folks reading her entry consider themselves participants in either mindsets and would love to hear others opinions to what they consider either S.S.C. or R.A.C.K. activities after all any way we see it again it is an individual choice and opinion and neither is wrong or right and it is always interesting and a learning experience to hear what others thoughts are. 

Time for this little girl to get much needed sleep, 5AM rolls around very quickly and her first daily rule from Master must not go undone as obedience is the foundation that holds her dynamic with her Daddy together.